goals

It’s nice to have goals, right?

I’ve noticed my behavior and attitude the past couple of weeks. in summation i’ve jus been a lazy tard.
And i’ve been even worse these past two weeks because i’ve been sick haha
ahh. Second semester you are killing mee.

I feel like once first semester ended, my energy level just plummeted to the ground. no, like underground actually. It’s like it was my final sprint into the finish line ( i mentioned this to steven earlier haha) and second semester is basically me on the ground gasping for air and water.
you can picture it right?

I think i’m finally getting better tho. my sniffling has diminished almost completely and my coughing is mild..kinda.

I really like this song by kid cudi. his songs are pretty sweet 🙂

To conclude this pointless blog post, i’ve decided to set goals for the upcoming months.
While i anticipate the SCARY college results, i need to pick it up.
going to start working out again once i get better, and i won’t procrastinate..as much 🙂

life is good ❤

if you’re going to san francisco

you’re going to need some flowers in your hair

🙂

ah. so the oh so anticipated second semester is finally here and rolling about.
what wasn’t expected was the sickness, and the workload.
added on with the DGAF attitude
it equals a disaster.

with AP tests just around the corner the teachers seem to finally start “cracking down” on us. which i find a little annoying because if they just taught us the materials and prepared us from the start then there wouldn’t be a need for this huge cramming sesh.

but i guess teachers aren’t so different than students.
procrastination is definitely a disease 😛

on the other hand..march is coming!!
you know what means..
RESULTS.
that’s right. those acceptance/rejection letters we’re anxiously awaiting.

to be honest i’m pretty scared. this kind of event has never happened to me before in my entire life and i for one have no clue how to handle this. it’s going to change my life!
Even though it’s not the end of the world if i don’t get into anywhere i know. but just the waiting is killing me..

ah.
spring break you seem so far away..

keep holding on

and you’ll make it through.

❤

2010 did not start off as I wanted it to.
Actually, everything that I wished would happen, did not.
I was at the peak of my happiness when 2009 ended and i feel like i started off at the bottom with 2010.
Then I realized that the problem was I kept wishing and hoping, instead of doing.
I put off work because I was daydreaming about my future, which I'm not even sure I have.
But it was nice to think about the possibilities as an escape.
That's where I went wrong.

From now on I will make 2010 the best year yet.

surprises

in the duration of my senior year i think one of the things i’ve learned was that life is definitely full of surprises
sure, i’ve heard it a million times before
but this year i witnessed it personally.
it’s so unpredictable even in the midst of your everyday routines. it’s so fascinating.

anyways
i’m working on trying to broaden my perspectives and gain a little patience as well.
🙂

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
-Charles R. Swindoll

greatness

Today was one of the best days of my life, if not the best of the best.

I finished my apps, mailed in everything, sent in my scores, AND WENT TO MY FIRST LAKERS GAME

I have this overwhelming feeling of joy inside of me right now waiting to come out and i don’t know how to channel it nor do i know to whom to spread this joy to

ahhhh.

so anyways, besides my pure happiness

i’m listening to this song called road. and it’s really making me think

it talks about the road to happiness and whether or not it’s taking the person anywhere, etc.

life is so weird to think about sometimes. questions are endless yet none can truly be answered.

ahhh. i love today.

❤

all you need is love

love love. love is all you need

as the first week of break passes me by, i look back and realize i haven’t done anything haha. except sleep 🙂 and eat. exactly what i wanted to do so i’m pretty darn satisfied.

and i finnnallllyyy got myself to do some work on my apps. i finished my drafts but i need to fix them up. oh boy.

thing is i’m pretty sure i’m going to stay in california. probably ucsd or something. i’d love to go to ucla but who am i kidding haha

and out of state..man! that would make my day. no. my yearrr. my life! if i got into one of the schools but due to financial issues i haven’t been able to apply EVERYWHERE (which would make my chances of getting in somewhere better 🙂 )

i guess the thing that’s been bothering me is the ‘what if’ questions. I mean i’ve worked my ass off this year to maintain good grades and etc. but i mean. what if that’s not enough. and it can happen, my personal statements are not my strongest point since i’m not a writer haha and i was hoping my other activities would be little buffer zones but now that i look back, they’re not that great either.

sigh.

i can’t do much but hope and just wait and ride it outtt. but these thoughts keep coming back to me and the only thing that would shoo them away is the day i get my results.

crap. who knew this day was gonna come by this fast?

wishful thinkinggggg.

you make my dreams come true

Maybe it’s because it’s christmas eve (one hour til christmas!) that i’m feeling a little. girly? is that the right word? i duno.

anyways i just thought it’d be nice if a guy actually sang like that for a girl haha

or felt like that. i’m sure there are plenty of guys that have, cept i’ve never experienced that.

not that it’s a priority. i don’t go around looking for guys that get all mushy. that’s kinda gross. but once in a while i think it’s cute 🙂 cause afterall, i am a girl. and it would be nice to know someone feels like that about me

ah what is this holiday turning me into..

have a wonderful christmas everyone 🙂

expectations/reality

expectations: HEY GUYS I finished my college applications finally! and cleaned my room as well

plus I saved a lot of money while shopping for gifts and today is just an amazing day I LOVE CHRISTMAS!! 😀

reality: if it’s possible i’m actually more behind on the applications than I first began them in the beginning of break…is that possible? i duno but it’s happened.

umm. my room has gotten clean…then dirty. and now it’s dirtier

I told myself i’d go to the gym or run every day or every other day. so far i haven’t been able to commit to that either. i’m just so tired all the time i’m not sure why. it feelslike the rest i get isn’t satisfying my body. weird.

as for gifts, i’ve finished getting people their stuff. but unfortunately i am flat ass broke now haha

yay. i love christmas.

so why don’t i feel any joy?

i think i have issues.

oh yea the whole expectations/reality format was inspired by 500 days of summer 🙂 aw i love that movie.

i love how for once the ending isn’t all happy and oh my gawd they are so cute together! crap.

i feel like the main relationship portrayed in the movie happens a lot in real life.

i would get into it but right now i don’t have the energy. i went to wal-mart, target, and best buy in a matter of two hours. i’d like to rest my brain right now

toodle-loo ❤

solitude

Completely alone right now, besides the kitties and my dog and the wonderful artists in my ipod 🙂

AH. It feels amazing.

Although I find myself home alone quite often, today I was anxious for my mother and sister to leave the house.

Why? for several reasons.

One mainly because I can’t seem to focus very well with them around. Not that they mean to distract, but in their company I tend to be more aloof and lazier haha I have no idea why..

Second. I’m feeling a bit off today and nothing makes me feel better than just being alone with music and coffee.

AND I needdd to get my supplements done.

So let’s hope I get at least something productive done today.

Coffee + new playlist in my Ipod + cute kitties running around my room + laptop = productivity? haha lets hope.

Tomorrow: Little Tokyo! 😀

winter break 09 :)

The day I have anticipated for for so long has finallllly arrived!!!

🙂 happiness.

but it’s shortlived..since I have to finish my college applications

speaking of which, they have pretty much taken over my life since october haha

i feel like i don’t even have any friends anymore

all i want to do is sleep. and while most of my friends are carefree and have a lot of free time due to the fact that they’re only applying to cal states, and a couple of UC’s, i seem to be only one of the few that are applying elsewhere.

Thus, I haven’t had as much free time and haven’t been able to hang out as well 😦

but it’ll all be worth it right?

who knows..

so this break i’m determined to rest up! 🙂 and prepare for an exciting 2010. SOO much to anticipate for this new decade. graduation..summer.. then college 🙂 holy shit is Sejin growing up? I think so =O

haha. well maybe not just yet.

❤